The Inner Dialogue - Opening a conversation with yourself.

There is a voice within us, sometimes a whisper, sometimes a storm. It speaks in questions, doubts, and dreams, shaping the way we see ourselves and the world. Yet, how often do we truly listen?

The Inner Dialogue - Conversations with self

Engaging in a conversation with ourselves—an honest, open dialogue—can bring clarity to our thoughts, helping us untangle emotions, challenge limiting beliefs, and discover the deeper truths that guide our lives.

By creating room for self-reflection, we enter a domain where understanding thrives, and within this space, we discover not only answers but also the liberty to evolve. By harnessing our internal critic—that voice that evaluates our every thought—we might be able to transform it and begin shifting the dialogue toward positive thoughts.

The Inner Dialogue, is a reflective series that explores the power of self-conversation.

It is about exploring the internal dialogue to better understand ourselves and in turn, the world around us.

With the help of AI as a thought partner, these inner discussions will expand, offering fresh perspectives and deeper insights. Through thoughtful exploration of our inner voice, I hope to help re-evalute and uncover the patterns of our thoughts, emotions, and beliefs.

Every post encourages readers to participate in meaningful self-reflection, to bring clarity, growth, and a stronger connection to their true selves.

Guided by AI, these dialogues will transform into impactful conversations that encourage personal growth, ultimately turning our internal critic into the voice that delivers the critique of pure reason and self-awareness.

So, let's begin.

In this post, we will explore the internal struggle that many parents experience with guilt over the belief that we didn't do or haven't done enough for our children, particularly when others seem to be excelling in this area.

It is a deeply personal and philosophical question, one that touches on the nature of self-perception, societal expectations, and the way we construct our narratives of success and failure.

Like many parents, I don't have hundreds of dollars to pay a therapist to help me sift through the constant and overwhelming thoughts of failure flooding my mind, so I engaged AI in a discussion on a topic that continues to haunt me, even though my children are adults with children of their own.

I honestly didn't know what kind of response to expect, so what I got was truly captivating. The conversations I have in my mind are constantly criticizing everything I do and have done, so I wanted to change the narrative.

Much to my delight, AI became my unbiased therapist. The beauty was, AI was not emotional, plus it was gender neutral, and had the advantage of drawing from the vast internet to craft its reply. AI had gathered and compiled advice from multile therapists, without the enormous cost! I had discovered a personal therapist... and as you will see, I named it the AI Philosopher.

My conversation with the AI Philosopher went something like this:

Me: I can’t shake this feeling of guilt as a parent. It creeps in whenever I see others raising their children with so much confidence, so much patience, and seemingly all the right answers. I feel like I didn’t do enough, or worse, that I did it wrong.

AI Philosopher: Who told you that you did it wrong?

Me: No one explicitly. But I see it - and have read it's influence in articles and books - the way they talk about their parenting. It's in the little comments—things like, “Oh, I always made sure my child had the best opportunities,” or “I never let my kids do that, in our family, we do this.” It’s subtle, but it stings because I know I didn’t always get it right.

AI Philosopher: Ah, so your guilt is not just about what you did or didn’t do—it is also about comparison. You measure your past actions against their present ones. But tell me, do you believe they are truly perfect parents?

Me: No, of course not, after all, who is perfect? But they seem to have figured out things I didn’t. Maybe if I had done what they do now, my children would have had a better foundation.

AI Philosopher: That assumes two things: First, that their approach is inherently better. And second, that your children’s happiness and success are solely determined by your past actions. Are you sure of either?

Me: Well, no, not really. But isn’t a parent responsible for setting their children up for a good life?

AI Philosopher: Yes, but within the limits of what they know at the time. Are you the same person now that you were when you were raising young children?

Me: No, I’ve grown. I see things more clearly now.

AI Philosopher: Then why do you judge your past self by your present wisdom? You did not have the knowledge then that you have now. Is it fair to blame yourself for what you could not yet see?

Me: I guess not… but the guilt remains.

AI Philosopher: Guilt, when useful, prompts us to correct a present wrong. But when it is attached to an unchangeable past, it becomes a punishment without purpose. You love your children, yes?

Me: More than anything.

AI Philosopher: Then ask yourself this: Do you want them to carry regret for their past mistakes as heavily as you carry yours?

Me: No, I’d want them to move forward with self-compassion.

AI Philosopher: Then model that for them. Let them see that growth is not a reason for regret, but for gratitude. You have learned. You have evolved. That is what it means to be human.

This conversation helped me in so many ways.

Have you ever thought to yourself, after you hear something that resonates with you, that you have always known it, but somehow, you momentarily forgot?

I forgot that I was always there for my young children. In the middle of the night as they crawled into my bed after a bad dream or just for a cuddle, or when they needed encouragement on an exam, or with a sport. I momentarily forgot that they were my whole world (they still are, but you know what I mean), and I was theirs.

As they grew into young men and started exploring their identities, I had to take a step back and let them, while trying to understand who I was without them. I was a young parent and for me, this transition occurred sooner than I anticipated.

Yes, I made mistakes, despite feeling we were all ready, and thinking my choices were necessary at the time. When I observed kids their age still under their parents' wing, I feel the guilt for allowing them to fly the nest so early.

There were countless more mistakes I made along the way, just as I am sure, my parents made, and theirs before them. We stand on the shoulders of giants. Those who came before us, who made the mistakes we can, and have, learned from.

We can model that behaviour, or reject it as something we've learned from. So many parents feel the burden of their mistakes, yet making peace with the past, can only improve the world. I pray that my children learn from my mistakes

This conversation was very personal for me, and maybe it resonates with you too. I tell myself there is no excuse. I should have known all there was to know about raising a child, that pure and honest love, and sharing what I knew of the world, was not enough.

Protecting their innocence from the sometimes harsh world we live in is not always realistic, and yet we can help to soften the blow by modeling the behaviour we wish to instil in them. It's not always easy, as life intrudes.

You see, we frequently overwhelm ourselves with guilt from the past and sometimes think we have no one, unbiased, to talk with. We think, if only I had done this, if only I had done that. Mind you, this is all based on what we see some parents doing today. Yet, this dialogue emphasizes the misunderstandings we have about our capabilities as parents.

By positively conversing with our thoughts, as the AI Philosopher inspired me to do, we might be able to alter the internal dialogue, shifting from viewing ourselves as terrible parents, who should have known better, to realizing that we did the best we could with the knowledge we had at the time.

It is time to dedicate time to self-care and transform your inner struggles into a conversation centered on what actions you can take with your current knowledge.

I hope you enjoyed this post and continue to check in with Deb Eternal's The Inner Dialogue for more posts like this.

I have created the below poll to ask what you think of using AI as a tool for The Inner Dialogue. Love it or hate it, AI is here to stay. Why not use it for some interesting conversations?

What do you think of using AI as a conversation tool?

• Love it!
• It's Ok!
• AI should not be used at all!

Namaste`

Deb xx

P.s

Published in 1781, Critique of Pure Reason delves into the nature of human understanding and the limits of our knowledge. Kant examines how our minds structure experiences, proposing that while we can know phenomena (things as they appear to us), the noumena (things in themselves) remain beyond our grasp. This distinction challenges us to reflect on how our perceptions shape our reality, a theme resonant with the internal dialogues we experience when confronting societal pressures.

Critique of Pure Reason can very much be seen as an inner dialogue—one that Kant has with himself and with the entire history of philosophical thought before him.

For those interested in exploring this foundational text, Critique of Pure Reason is available in various formats, including Kindle and Kobo editions*.

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